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| Literature / Prose / Fiction / Humor / Introductions & Chapters | ©2013 ~ChloroFax |
I know it must've killed ya. But now it's out, and chapter eleven will knock your socks off! We're on our second Treasure Island chapter, which I bet will be a good one! But, since that's my own biased opinion, I'll let you guys read it for yourselves. Enjoy, and please review if you can! 
And lastly, always stay tuned for the next chapter. You guys are awesome, reading my stuff for me- I love you all.
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Deviousness `anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More
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Sta.sh
Well first off it had a lot of great thrills, the whole scene with them fighting off the squid and Fang as they attacked the two teams was very exciting, and I'm very intrigued to see Brick and Jo getting even closer, and even more so that she and Mike have cut a deal with each other on the Final Four. I gotta see what comes of that.
I admit, the homophobe chat and the revelation that Dakota may not be able to have kids because of her mutation, those were a bit surprising. In fact, I never even considered the latter in all the times I've dwelled on Dakota's mutation. Can't believe that never came to my attention. I also want to see how this impacts the growth of Sam and Dakota's relationship.
Plus, I really want to know where Zoey's "pain" is coming from and what will become of Gwen and Courtney. So those two still hate each other in this version too, huh? How will they keep it together in the time they are together?
Really, I cannot wait for the next chapter!
Yeah, I tried to drag that scene out more than it was originally in the episode. This time there was more to talk about, and I'm happy about how my version turned out.
Yeah, that was more of the dark stuff of the chapter. Scott's homophobia is sickening, but it's easy to see why it applies to him. What is your opinion on it? Also, Dakota's predicament is quite tragic. It will lead to something soon, but what are your opinions on that as well?
You'll see in the next chapter.
GOOD! I love it when I get someone to want the next chapter like that.
Now, just for some questions about some things:
1) What did you think of Jo's "hentaiphobia"?
2) Were Sam's references still funny? And did you get any of them?
3) Assess Mike's new personality.
4) How did you react to Dawn's sadness over the octopus getting hurt?
5) What was your absolute favorite moment and why?
Hope these aren't too much to ask for, I'm probably the biggest sucker for feedback you'll EVER meet.
Yeah, that was a thrilling battle scene.
Touchy territory. Though Scott saying it wouldn't be all that surprising. I for one am fascinated to know what this sitch means for Dakota. I want to see how that develops.
YES!
Well I trust you a lot more than I trust the actual producers, so I can't wait to see what you do with those two in this scenario.
I'll be the first one there, guaranteed!
1) Surprising. Though not unfounded. Gives more depth to her character and it's very odd to see her act anything but tough. A good kind of odd.
2) His were still funny, yes.
3) Very unique, and apparently also female?
4) That got to me a bit, I mean seeing someone at delicate and gentle as Dawn grieving like that really gets to you. Definitely very much in-character with that one.
5) Probably the squid fight for being so action packed and for Brick and Jo's combine heroism in saving their team.
Oh trust me, so am I!
So many people are telling me I write good action scenes in this fic. And I'm glad I do it so well- before I wasn't so sure. Brick and Dawn are good at combat, yeah.
I know, I thought Scott's revelation could be a bit strong. But I know worse things have occurred before. Others will hold it against him for sure. But he mentioned lesbian porn being 'hot'....what a dick, right? And I must say Dakota's situation may have a chance at getting better. Though she needs to talk about it with Sam more so something can be done. Maybe she will....but she's a mutant now, so it's hard for her to speak clearly.
I won't disappoint.
1) Not to mention it was a traumatic experience early on....and honestly, my eyes are not pure in that regard myself. I regret seeing it all, man. I do. But this is about Jo, and it may have been just a momentary lapse....but was it, or...?
2) Good. I try to make the Cdi references the easiest to notice. Others include video game references, and other jokes that may be made by other contestants as well.
3) Yes, female.
4) Glad it tugged on your heartstrings. It's so easy, I realized, to have a character like that feel upset and you are just so easily able to feel real, raw empathy for them. She is sensitive, yet not weak. And hopefully she can know when it is appropriate to fight off an animal if she needs to to survive.
5) Nice! Both were good at it. Mike as Simonez was heroic, aussi (also).
Nice! I guess we understand each other then.